Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Run Fast but Not Hard. The 2014 Bare Burro 5k

I guess it's that time a year again.  The one day of the year I always wear sunscreen.
 Time to head out to the Olive Dell Ranch
For The 2014 Bare Burro 5k
 Last summer I raced burros for the first time out in Colorado.
But this race is a little a bit different.
Instead of racing your burro to the finish
At Olive Dell you are Bare the Burro.
While burro's watch and laugh
(pic taken race day just outside the Olive Dell property)

This was not my first time racing in the Bare Burro, in fact is my 4th time there.
I even helped them with their Promo video for this years event.

My first year I had no idea what to expect coursewise (or floppage wise).  I was in good shape at the time and on tired legs (from Ragnar the day before) and I ran with treadless sandals on a very technical course. I finished in 1st place
The next year I felt like I was one to beat this time I had ran the Boston Marathon (did horrible there) on Monday and once again finished Ragnar the day before.  This time I had better Sandals and I was determined to win.  I  ran a lot faster than the year before and was able to successfully defend my title.
Last year I also ran the Boston Marathon the Monday before. This time I was race out shape and with a bad foot (which I had no business even running on).  I strained my hamstring pretty good in Boston and to help exacerbate the problem I ended running over 50km in the ragnar relay which finished the day before. I thought maybe I could fake it and trick my body into a fast 5km. But the Bare Burro 5km is an extremely difficult course (for a 5km) and within the first mile I knew I would not threepeat and I finished third.
 (I still had fun though)
Even before I the race was over I was already thinking about next year
This year there was no Ragnar before the event (YES) but I did run the Boston Marathon for the third year in row on the Monday before the BB5k. I had a good race and ran with a smile. I got back home late Wednesday night and when I went to the beach Thursday morning I was in for a very painful 4 mile jog.  Nothing was broken however. I was just sore. Friday still kind of sucked but I got in 10 miles and but by Saturday I felt almost better and went for a three hour stroll.
(I had to work on my Tan)
Race Day
I woke an hour before my alarm like Kid on X-mas
The Olive Dell Ranch is out in Colton CA (out by Riverside)  about 90 miles inland  from my home at the beach.

Earlier in the week the forecasted weather had said 90 degrees but now the high was in the 70's.
When I left my house around 7 a.m. it was 60 degrees, as I drove i kept pressing the thermometer button in my car,  58,  56, 54,  52, 51
The last three years it had been beautiful out each time.
It looks like the hot tub might get pretty crowded?  
By the time I arrived the weather had risen to close to 60 degrees with sunshine and little wind
Good enough for me. My shorts were off before I even stepped out my car.
I grabbed my Arrogant Bastard  towel and took claim over one of the many chaise lounges.
(Pic is from Mexico since I can't show you all the naked people at the race I'll show you the Urique River instead)
Because the weather has always been warm people were naked from the get go. It was about 90 minutes till the race started and out of the 80 or so people that were there was a lot of apprehension about when to disrobe. It was pretty entertaining watching people's courage grow as they found safety in numbers.
It take's about 5 minutes
and you don't even realize you're naked anymore. Sure you notice the other naked people and your eye may wonder a bit but the scene is far more interesting and humorous than it is erotic.

The Weather was warming up quickly and it turned out to be a very pleasant day. Over 250 people had shown up to race including the two dudes who had finished in front of me last year 
(I was gonna say beat me last year but that didn't sound right, Ha ha)
Every year a bunch a people tell me they are going to show up and 95% of them chicken out because of lack of courage.  I have yet to meet one person that regretted participating in this event and most people come back the next year if they can.  This year at least 10 people whom I didn't know told me that my blog  posts were the they were here. That made me good and I was stoked to make a few new friends
Fundamentals of running naked.
I think it may ingrained in our DNA as part of our Autonomic Nervous system.  When the race is about to began FIGHT OR FLIGHT sets in and my Willy gets in tucked in position my like a miniature Olympic ski jumper.
(it also helps if it's cold outside)
Women don't so much have to worry about the little man in the canoe but I assume a similar constriction of boob and areola does occur to some degree  
Our bodies are designed to run naked.  If your junk is flopping around like helicopter that lost a blade chances are your running form sucks. Lifestyle choices including clothing and diet have sculpted our bodies into lots of strange shapes and sizes that are not conducive to persistence hunting out on the Savannah. 
(Now for a dissertation regarding the correlation of fast food slow people and the lack of naked running. J/K)

If you go by the name "Long dong silver" or a "Big old Bajunga's Betty" You probably will experience some floppage but proper running form will help eliminate most of it.

On the flipside (or shall I say Flopside) even if you are part of the "Itty Bitty Committee" It's amazing how far parts of your body will stretch with poor running form.

Running naked can make you a better runner if you are flopping a ton you probably need to shorten your stride.  If you're top heavy I would suggest arching your shoulders back into an erect (ha ha) posture so that you are more well balanced.

I say all this crap but when the race starts all I'm thinking about is don't fall. I run with almost a reckless abandon, no time to ponder flopping.  I'm in a race and I am here to win!

Time to Race
The strangest part of the whole day is the starting line. Corralled in like bunch of pigs at the sausage factory you gain a new appreciation for personal space.

One second we were standing around jabbering away and without warning the race had started I never heard a go but all of sudden 250 naked people were about to run me over.  Lucky for me I was up in the front.

The course starts with a short downhill by the time I had taken my forth step I had taken the lead and I wasn't gonna give it up without a fight.

My plan was to go out as fast I can, almost at a sprint.   This was the strongest my legs have ever felt at the Bare Burro.  Like a rabbit who spiked his coffee with meth I was gone.
I had no desire to run behind some sweaty butt crack.

Even though my lead was only about 100 feet by the 1/2 mile mark I was making my competitors work harder than they wanted to.

My sandals felt great and I was flying. The first half of the race is mostly uphill and by the time I hit the turn around I was pretty sure I had the win so long as I didn't fall.  Being naked was not concern at all if anything it felt more comfortable than wearing shorts.  I never wear a shirt when I run anyway and I am usually barefoot.

On the way back I caught sight of the rest of field. I may have forgot that I was naked but seeing everyone else brought a big smile to my face.  
(Because well? people running naked is way funnier than it is majestic.)

I hit the 2 mile mark before many of the runners had finished their first mile. Along the way I got a bunch  of cheers. I felt like I had about a minute or so lead on second place I stopped over striding on the downhill and cruised in for the win. 

I spent the next 30 minutes clapping and giggling as I watched the other runners finish the race
Time for a victory Margarita.
Luna Mono Sandals w/Spinach MGT grip and traditional ribbon laces

Two people after the race told me that when they saw my Luna Sandals they knew I was gonna win.
I thought that was pretty cool!
I'm guessing though another 50 people thought "Look at that idiot in sandals I'm gonna kick his butt."
(but that wouldn't be nice thing to say plus it would make them look foolish)

I have now won over 20 races in my Luna Sandals and already 5 this year.
and a dip in the pool
If you look closely you can see scars from my first race in Mexico back in 2011
 Posing with the Living Legend Eric Clifton whom I have raced against every year.  Eric finished in a respectable fourth place
Good to see you Rali or should I see hang out with you?
Both work
 Posing with 9 time badwater finisher the Mayor of Malibu and his beautiful lady friend.

Although I had brought my camera I didn't take many pictures this year. Picture taking is discouraged  and forbidden without permission. They  took Photo's during the race which will be emailed to me later which I may add to this post when they arrive
This was the first year they didn't give out a shirt instead we got drawstring bags. I think that giving out a shirt is kind of stupid thing to do at a nudist run. Next year I suggest they give out beach towels .
Thank you to everyone at the Olive Dell ranch and thank you to everyone who participated in the event. As always I had a great time and can't wait to do it again next year.  If you have apprehensions about running naked GET OVER IT! I promise you it will be fun and you will not regret it.
(unless it's super sunny out and you forget your sunscreen)

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