Showing posts with label Luna Sandals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luna Sandals. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Run Fast but Not Hard. The 2014 Bare Burro 5k



THE OLIVE DELL RANCH HAS NEW OWNERS.
AS OF NOW I CANNOT RECOMMEND VISITING!

I DO NOT RECOMMEND PARTICIPATING IN THIS RACE I ONCE LOVED




I guess it's that time a year again.  The one day of the year I always wear sunscreen.
 Time to head out to the Olive Dell Ranch
For The 2014 Bare Burro 5k
 Last summer I raced burros for the first time out in Colorado.
But this race is a little a bit different.
Instead of racing your burro to the finish
At Olive Dell you are Bare the Burro.
While burro's watch and laugh
(pic taken race day just outside the Olive Dell property)

This was not my first time racing in the Bare Burro, in fact is my 4th time there.
I even helped them with their Promo video for this years event.

My first year I had no idea what to expect coursewise (or floppage wise).  I was in good shape at the time and on tired legs (from Ragnar the day before) and I ran with treadless sandals on a very technical course. I finished in 1st place
The next year I felt like I was one to beat this time I had ran the Boston Marathon (did horrible there) on Monday and once again finished Ragnar the day before.  This time I had better Sandals and I was determined to win.  I  ran a lot faster than the year before and was able to successfully defend my title.
Last year I also ran the Boston Marathon the Monday before. This time I was race out shape and with a bad foot (which I had no business even running on).  I strained my hamstring pretty good in Boston and to help exacerbate the problem I ended running over 50km in the ragnar relay which finished the day before. I thought maybe I could fake it and trick my body into a fast 5km. But the Bare Burro 5km is an extremely difficult course (for a 5km) and within the first mile I knew I would not threepeat and I finished third.
 (I still had fun though)
 :)
Even before I the race was over I was already thinking about next year
This year there was no Ragnar before the event (YES) but I did run the Boston Marathon for the third year in row on the Monday before the BB5k. I had a good race and ran with a smile. I got back home late Wednesday night and when I went to the beach Thursday morning I was in for a very painful 4 mile jog.  Nothing was broken however. I was just sore. Friday still kind of sucked but I got in 10 miles and but by Saturday I felt almost better and went for a three hour stroll.
(I had to work on my Tan)
Race Day
I woke an hour before my alarm like Kid on X-mas
The Olive Dell Ranch is out in Colton CA (out by Riverside)  about 90 miles inland  from my home at the beach.

Earlier in the week the forecasted weather had said 90 degrees but now the high was in the 70's.
When I left my house around 7 a.m. it was 60 degrees, as I drove i kept pressing the thermometer button in my car,  58,  56, 54,  52, 51
UH-OH!
The last three years it had been beautiful out each time.
It looks like the hot tub might get pretty crowded?  
By the time I arrived the weather had risen to close to 60 degrees with sunshine and little wind
Good enough for me. My shorts were off before I even stepped out my car.
I grabbed my Arrogant Bastard  towel and took claim over one of the many chaise lounges.
(Pic is from Mexico since I can't show you all the naked people at the race I'll show you the Urique River instead)
Because the weather has always been warm people were naked from the get go. It was about 90 minutes till the race started and out of the 80 or so people that were there was a lot of apprehension about when to disrobe. It was pretty entertaining watching people's courage grow as they found safety in numbers.
It take's about 5 minutes
and you don't even realize you're naked anymore. Sure you notice the other naked people and your eye may wonder a bit but the scene is far more interesting and humorous than it is erotic.

The Weather was warming up quickly and it turned out to be a very pleasant day. Over 250 people had shown up to race including the two dudes who had finished in front of me last year 
(I was gonna say beat me last year but that didn't sound right, Ha ha)
Every year a bunch a people tell me they are going to show up and 95% of them chicken out because of lack of courage.  I have yet to meet one person that regretted participating in this event and most people come back the next year if they can.  This year at least 10 people whom I didn't know told me that my blog  posts were the they were here. That made me good and I was stoked to make a few new friends
Fundamentals of running naked.
I think it may ingrained in our DNA as part of our Autonomic Nervous system.  When the race is about to began FIGHT OR FLIGHT sets in and my Willy gets in tucked in position my like a miniature Olympic ski jumper.
(it also helps if it's cold outside)
Women don't so much have to worry about the little man in the canoe but I assume a similar constriction of boob and areola does occur to some degree  
Our bodies are designed to run naked.  If your junk is flopping around like helicopter that lost a blade chances are your running form sucks. Lifestyle choices including clothing and diet have sculpted our bodies into lots of strange shapes and sizes that are not conducive to persistence hunting out on the Savannah. 
(Now for a dissertation regarding the correlation of fast food slow people and the lack of naked running. J/K)

If you go by the name "Long dong silver" or a "Big old Bajunga's Betty" You probably will experience some floppage but proper running form will help eliminate most of it.

On the flipside (or shall I say Flopside) even if you are part of the "Itty Bitty Committee" It's amazing how far parts of your body will stretch with poor running form.

Running naked can make you a better runner if you are flopping a ton you probably need to shorten your stride.  If you're top heavy I would suggest arching your shoulders back into an erect (ha ha) posture so that you are more well balanced.

I say all this crap but when the race starts all I'm thinking about is don't fall. I run with almost a reckless abandon, no time to ponder flopping.  I'm in a race and I am here to win!

Time to Race
The strangest part of the whole day is the starting line. Corralled in like bunch of pigs at the sausage factory you gain a new appreciation for personal space.

One second we were standing around jabbering away and without warning the race had started I never heard a go but all of sudden 250 naked people were about to run me over.  Lucky for me I was up in the front.

The course starts with a short downhill by the time I had taken my forth step I had taken the lead and I wasn't gonna give it up without a fight.


My plan was to go out as fast I can, almost at a sprint.   This was the strongest my legs have ever felt at the Bare Burro.  Like a rabbit who spiked his coffee with meth I was gone.
I had no desire to run behind some sweaty butt crack.

Even though my lead was only about 100 feet by the 1/2 mile mark I was making my competitors work harder than they wanted to.

My sandals felt great and I was flying. The first half of the race is mostly uphill and by the time I hit the turn around I was pretty sure I had the win so long as I didn't fall.  Being naked was not concern at all if anything it felt more comfortable than wearing shorts.  I never wear a shirt when I run anyway and I am usually barefoot.

On the way back I caught sight of the rest of field. I may have forgot that I was naked but seeing everyone else brought a big smile to my face.  
(Because well? people running naked is way funnier than it is majestic.)

I hit the 2 mile mark before many of the runners had finished their first mile. Along the way I got a bunch  of cheers. I felt like I had about a minute or so lead on second place I stopped over striding on the downhill and cruised in for the win. 

I spent the next 30 minutes clapping and giggling as I watched the other runners finish the race
Time for a victory Margarita.
Luna Mono Sandals w/Spinach MGT grip and traditional ribbon laces

Two people after the race told me that when they saw my Luna Sandals they knew I was gonna win.
I thought that was pretty cool!
:)
I'm guessing though another 50 people thought "Look at that idiot in sandals I'm gonna kick his butt."
(but that wouldn't be nice thing to say plus it would make them look foolish)

I have now won over 20 races in my Luna Sandals and already 5 this year.
and a dip in the pool
If you look closely you can see scars from my first race in Mexico back in 2011
 Posing with the Living Legend Eric Clifton whom I have raced against every year.  Eric finished in a respectable fourth place
Good to see you Rali or should I see hang out with you?
Both work
 :)
 Posing with 9 time badwater finisher the Mayor of Malibu and his beautiful lady friend.

Although I had brought my camera I didn't take many pictures this year. Picture taking is discouraged  and forbidden without permission. They  took Photo's during the race which will be emailed to me later which I may add to this post when they arrive
This was the first year they didn't give out a shirt instead we got drawstring bags. I think that giving out a shirt is kind of stupid thing to do at a nudist run. Next year I suggest they give out beach towels .
Thank you to everyone at the Olive Dell ranch and thank you to everyone who participated in the event. As always I had a great time and can't wait to do it again next year.  If you have apprehensions about running naked GET OVER IT! I promise you it will be fun and you will not regret it.
(unless it's super sunny out and you forget your sunscreen)
:)

Thursday, October 11, 2012

In search of Wives and Magic Underwear I jumped out of plane, helped my friends run 100 miles and drank some crappy beer. Bourbon Feet goes to Utah

Cool Castle!

Upon arrival in Salt Lake City everything seemed pretty normal except that everybody was white.
Not to be racist or anything but white people can be pretty creepy. I should know.
 (I've been one my whole life)
With no minorities around to help homogenize the status quo young white people in Utah must go extremes to find their own  identity ranging form  Mormonism to Juggalos, and even includes tatted up hipster vegans who  run in sandals?  
(crazy )
The other thing I noticed was that there sure were a lot of kid's and it seemed like most of the kids belonged to adults that looked like kids. (huh?)    So if your and out work preschool teacher in SoCal I'm sure you could find of job rather quick in the SLC.

Why was I in Utah?

My friend and head cobbler at Luna Sandals Scott  Smuin (raised in Utah) was going to attempt to run his first, and "one of the toughest" 100 mile trail races in the country while wearing Luna Sandals
I had some free time and I was stoked that I  come out and crew.
Also running in the race was my friend and fellow Mas Loco Shawn Wood.  I'd be staying with him and his girlfriend Stephanie.  I hadn't either of them since the CCUM 2012  They are really cool  people and I was looking forward to the trip.

I arrived a few days early. What now?

Maybe it's finally time I found some wive's and started a family?
(Says the guy who is barely responsible enough to keep a cactus watered)
Hmm?
Pretty tempting? But I have a hard enough time keeping up with one woman. 
 And 
If I was gonna have 20 or so wifves I'd  pick a variety, every shape color size, 

plus a few of really buff ones to use as my bodyguards 
(Why not?)
Perhaps
Starting a family is a little ambitious for 6 day trip. 

What else does only Utah have to offer?
Magic Underwear

Surly it would be more Magical if it had already been worn by a genuine Mormon.  "To the thrift store."

It turns out they are only sold To Mormons at special temple stores. 
However
 I was totally stoked to find this Jon Deere 6 pack bazooka tube style cooler for $.75.
Upon further research I found that you can get them online but they super expensive
(warning the model wearing them is pretty sexy)

Later that night I found out my buddy Shawn was gonna go Sky diving the next day. It would be his 5th jump toward becoming a certified diver so that he could jump anytime he wanted with his Lady who happens to already be a pro.
 (Not that kind of pro.)

I thought it would be pretty cool to watch.
but
It would be a lot cooler if I jumped as well?
:)
Disclaimer: 
In case you are reading this blog post years in future and are perhaps writing a report on the 45th president of United States? The next series of pics may not be historically accurate.
About 10 minutes after signing a sheet promising "If I Die, I will Sue!" I was in a jumpsuit  and walking out on the tarmac.
Shawn and Scott Looking for me up in the sky
(Shh! I'm the dude who took this picture?)
"Hey Dudes"
How the Hell did Scott get in the plane I thought he was the dude on the ground taking the pictures?
"In Luna Sandals anything is possible"
"See Ya."
(those building in the background must be 2 miles tall.)
Birth of a Sky diver.

 Little Known Fact that only sky divers know? 
Heaven is full of chain smoking flowers and hipster dragons.
 "Oh No? 
Those Mormon churches sure look pointy! "

Little known fact #2
Utah is the most dangerous place in the world to Sky Dive!!  
Even without the aid of magic underwear I was able to sneak between the steeples and land without a scratch.
Thanks for the Beer the Steph
(how did she beat me to the ground?)

Synopsis on sky diving:
I'm not very brave dude and also not much of risk taker.  I thought I would be more afraid especially while flying  up an just for jumping out but really it was a lot of fun fear never was a factor.  I got my first view of the great Salt lake as I fee falled from 18,000' and smiled from second I jumped till the second I hit the ground.

 Enough of my Shenanigans
 Time
 to tell the tale of how Shawn and Scott took down the BEAR. 
 Race Check In.  T-minus 14 hours till the start of the race.
Nasa Space training
(I can totally read her mind)
"Pat Please spin this merry go round as fast as you can!"

Luis Escobar doing his best to blend in with all white people by dressing up as cowboy
I can hardly tell which one was him?
It turns out he bought that shirt in Urique right after running the in the Copper Canyons Ultra Marathon in 2006. "Fine, Cool Shirt Dude!" 
Just before leaving I saw another buddy  from SoCal Josh Spector.  .
 Mile 30ish aid station

 This place sure is beautiful! At the same time I was excited for my friends and I was also a bit jealous.  
Shawn's mom made goodie bags foe the entire crew. 
Shawn's one lucky dude.
:)
 looks ready to me!

Race morning
Lace up buddy
 One of kind (for now?) ZZYXXZ Reflective Luna tech race shirt
Don't forget your glasses and teeth.
Ironman or just a dumb ass with a glowing shirt? 
Nerves of steel. 
 What kind of idiot would try and run a 100 miles in Sandals?
Answer
My kind of idiot!
Good Luck Scott?
 Shawn's mom is really proud of her son.
Left to right
Steph, Me,Scott,Shawn,Eric, Conner, Izzy, Rebecca 
and
Sam.
This is gonna be fun.
 Ghostly start

There was no crew access till mile 20
 First to arrive Josh Spector.  He would go on to finish in sub 24 hours.  Well done Dude!
 While standing around I ran into my buddy Andrew Labbe sporting a pretty cool shirt:)
 Looking good Luis.
 Good job boys!
 Double take 
Good Job Boys, see you at mile 30ish
(I ran down the hill and took a second photo.)

Crewing myself with crap beer, avocado, hot sauce and olives,  
Me to Luis  "Dude,  you look like Shit."
Luis responded with a big old grin and a few choice words.
:)
Congrats on your 28th 100 mile  finish.
 Although my friend Eric is mostly a Vegan he does partake in eating the occasional beard bug?
(I figured a gross pic needed a gross caption.)
Here they come
 Scott does not drink alcohol  but when he came into the aid station there is noway he would have passed afield sobriety test.  
 Steph I told you not to drink the river water.
Later dudes see you at mile 42
 The day was flying  by and the terrain kept getting prettier.
Foxy Lady and Foxy skull.

So far Scott ans Shawn had been running together.  But by mile 42 Shawn arrived a few minutes before Scott with the aid of Conner as a pacer.
 I could tell the race was starting to take it's toll on Scott and he was doing a great job keeping a positive attitude.
 Scott told me later that the main thing keeping him going were the massages we gave him at each aid station. 

 Mile 51 Halfway done.
By the halfway point both Scott and Shawn seemed pretty miserable.  Shawn arrived about a half hour before Scott but while he was warming up in his Jeep I took off with Scott to pace him for the next 25 miles.

It was about 10p.m. when I started pacing and we had 10 miles to the next aid station. Scott was moving really well on the climbs but his bowels weren't doing so good when he tried to run downhill.  I could tell he was starting to contemplate a DNF  (everybody does at some point) Before hitting the next aid station Scott had hit the wall as he batled his way to mile 60.
Nothing seemed broken and he was still moving great up hill. After about 5 more  miles he told me he was done. I could tell by the tone in his voice he was having a real hard time coming to that conclusion.  
"Will see about that you got plenty of time to turn things around."
I quickly changed the subject.
Guest appearance by Barefoot Ted
After a few more miles we hit an aid station with no crew access.  It was the middle of the night we were at about 8,000' elevation, the weather was chilly and that a few bonfires going.
I convinced Scot to shut his eyes for a few minutes think this may revive him a bit.

While sitting around I chatted up this lady running in the race whom had been vomiting  for the past hour.  Early in the race she had taken a fall conked her head and maybe even had a concussion.  Dude she was tough!.  It was also her first 100 and she was hell bend on finishing although at this point it didn't look like luck was on her side.

After a few minutes Scott decided to keep going.
"Way to go Dude!"
but he still had over 50km to go yikes.
 as we hiked I found Scott  a  walking stick he coined 
"Polley Moses."  
 By the time we finished  up 25 miles nearly 11 hours had passed. Scott still had 25 miles to run and he would have to do it under 9 hours. It was now or never! Scott would have to dig deep and find his running stride once again or he was not gonna make the cutoff time.
Things weren't looking good but I knew he had it in him!
:)
 It was nice to see the crew again.  I wished I had carried my camera through the night.  The sunrise was amazing but I had no clue that we were gonna be out their that long
 Mile 85
Shawn had also had a tough night but seemed like a new man when the sun came up.
 15 miles left.  I think he's trying to see if he can find a short cut.
 Steph paced Scott the final 25 miles and you could tell he was really stoked to have her around.  They really  bring out the best in each other.
 About  5 minutes later out of nowhere came Scott running down the hill moving free and effortlessly as if he were one of the girls from Little house on the Prairie.
  He was back on track to finish (with time to spare). Way to hang in there dude
And by Eric and Izzy's facial expression you tell his feet still smelled really good.

Next stop mile 92
 Eric I decided a little frisbee was in order
Yippy Skippy
Nothing to it but to do it.
When Shawn was about to take off, In came Scott just in time for a hug
How Bromantic.
 Happy Runner, a proud crew and some kick ass Sandals.
I love this pic.

See you at the finish line!
Life is tough

 Dude you did it!
 Big congrats to Shawn Wood on his second  100 mile finish.
 And then it was Scott's turn.
  I knew you could do it and I'm really stoked you didn't give up.
You were a pleasure to crew for and I'm proud to be your friend.
----Dreaming of the present----
This pic makes me smile
Bear Lake
Look Mom I'm in Idaho!
(and my beer actually has alcohol in it)

The final official finisher of the race came i strong
And the first unofficial finisher came in with buddy George Valasco.
 "Stephanie and Hal sitting in a tree, doot, doot,doot, twidilee, dee."
HA HA!
Shawn got first place in the Shawn Wood division (barely beating out Shawn Woody) and Scott got first place in the sandal division.

The Bear 100 looks like a really cool race to run perhaps I'll give it a try some day? Everyone I met In Utah was pretty nice. At no point did ever feel ostracized for not being a religious dude. Our crew got along real well and Shawn's mom and her friend turned out to be a lot fun to hang out with.  I don't need 20 wives or magic underwear to be happy.  Hanging out  with such beautiful people  and watching my friends achieve their dreams is good enough for me.

Special thanks to Shawn Wood and Stephanie Gardner for letting me crash at their pad
and
for giving me a pool to swim in while I was there.
:)

Bonus:
I still had one last day to spend In Utah so Shawn and Steph graciously took me out to Antelope Island (where he ran his first 100 ) to watch the sunset
Check out the name of Shawn's boat.
I like it, I like it a lot.
Hey Lady.
A great day to be alive
I think I may have saw more wild buffalo's during my brief visit to Angel Island than I will see in the rest my life.
Amazing
The last sunflower on the island trying to hold on to petal's.
The world is what you make of it
and
Life is good!