Thursday, October 11, 2012

In search of Wives and Magic Underwear I jumped out of plane, helped my friends run 100 miles and drank some crappy beer. Bourbon Feet goes to Utah

Cool Castle!

Upon arrival in Salt Lake City everything seemed pretty normal except that everybody was white.
Not to be racist or anything but white people can be pretty creepy. I should know.
 (I've been one my whole life)
With no minorities around to help homogenize the status quo young white people in Utah must go extremes to find their own  identity ranging form  Mormonism to Juggalos, and even includes tatted up hipster vegans who  run in sandals?  
(crazy )
The other thing I noticed was that there sure were a lot of kid's and it seemed like most of the kids belonged to adults that looked like kids. (huh?)    So if your and out work preschool teacher in SoCal I'm sure you could find of job rather quick in the SLC.

Why was I in Utah?

My friend and head cobbler at Luna Sandals Scott  Smuin (raised in Utah) was going to attempt to run his first, and "one of the toughest" 100 mile trail races in the country while wearing Luna Sandals
I had some free time and I was stoked that I  come out and crew.
Also running in the race was my friend and fellow Mas Loco Shawn Wood.  I'd be staying with him and his girlfriend Stephanie.  I hadn't either of them since the CCUM 2012  They are really cool  people and I was looking forward to the trip.

I arrived a few days early. What now?

Maybe it's finally time I found some wive's and started a family?
(Says the guy who is barely responsible enough to keep a cactus watered)
Pretty tempting? But I have a hard enough time keeping up with one woman. 
If I was gonna have 20 or so wifves I'd  pick a variety, every shape color size, 

plus a few of really buff ones to use as my bodyguards 
(Why not?)
Starting a family is a little ambitious for 6 day trip. 

What else does only Utah have to offer?
Magic Underwear

Surly it would be more Magical if it had already been worn by a genuine Mormon.  "To the thrift store."

It turns out they are only sold To Mormons at special temple stores. 
 I was totally stoked to find this Jon Deere 6 pack bazooka tube style cooler for $.75.
Upon further research I found that you can get them online but they super expensive
(warning the model wearing them is pretty sexy)

Later that night I found out my buddy Shawn was gonna go Sky diving the next day. It would be his 5th jump toward becoming a certified diver so that he could jump anytime he wanted with his Lady who happens to already be a pro.
 (Not that kind of pro.)

I thought it would be pretty cool to watch.
It would be a lot cooler if I jumped as well?
In case you are reading this blog post years in future and are perhaps writing a report on the 45th president of United States? The next series of pics may not be historically accurate.
About 10 minutes after signing a sheet promising "If I Die, I will Sue!" I was in a jumpsuit  and walking out on the tarmac.
Shawn and Scott Looking for me up in the sky
(Shh! I'm the dude who took this picture?)
"Hey Dudes"
How the Hell did Scott get in the plane I thought he was the dude on the ground taking the pictures?
"In Luna Sandals anything is possible"
"See Ya."
(those building in the background must be 2 miles tall.)
Birth of a Sky diver.

 Little Known Fact that only sky divers know? 
Heaven is full of chain smoking flowers and hipster dragons.
 "Oh No? 
Those Mormon churches sure look pointy! "

Little known fact #2
Utah is the most dangerous place in the world to Sky Dive!!  
Even without the aid of magic underwear I was able to sneak between the steeples and land without a scratch.
Thanks for the Beer the Steph
(how did she beat me to the ground?)

Synopsis on sky diving:
I'm not very brave dude and also not much of risk taker.  I thought I would be more afraid especially while flying  up an just for jumping out but really it was a lot of fun fear never was a factor.  I got my first view of the great Salt lake as I fee falled from 18,000' and smiled from second I jumped till the second I hit the ground.

 Enough of my Shenanigans
 to tell the tale of how Shawn and Scott took down the BEAR. 
 Race Check In.  T-minus 14 hours till the start of the race.
Nasa Space training
(I can totally read her mind)
"Pat Please spin this merry go round as fast as you can!"

Luis Escobar doing his best to blend in with all white people by dressing up as cowboy
I can hardly tell which one was him?
It turns out he bought that shirt in Urique right after running the in the Copper Canyons Ultra Marathon in 2006. "Fine, Cool Shirt Dude!" 
Just before leaving I saw another buddy  from SoCal Josh Spector.  .
 Mile 30ish aid station

 This place sure is beautiful! At the same time I was excited for my friends and I was also a bit jealous.  
Shawn's mom made goodie bags foe the entire crew. 
Shawn's one lucky dude.
 looks ready to me!

Race morning
Lace up buddy
 One of kind (for now?) ZZYXXZ Reflective Luna tech race shirt
Don't forget your glasses and teeth.
Ironman or just a dumb ass with a glowing shirt? 
Nerves of steel. 
 What kind of idiot would try and run a 100 miles in Sandals?
My kind of idiot!
Good Luck Scott?
 Shawn's mom is really proud of her son.
Left to right
Steph, Me,Scott,Shawn,Eric, Conner, Izzy, Rebecca 
This is gonna be fun.
 Ghostly start

There was no crew access till mile 20
 First to arrive Josh Spector.  He would go on to finish in sub 24 hours.  Well done Dude!
 While standing around I ran into my buddy Andrew Labbe sporting a pretty cool shirt:)
 Looking good Luis.
 Good job boys!
 Double take 
Good Job Boys, see you at mile 30ish
(I ran down the hill and took a second photo.)

Crewing myself with crap beer, avocado, hot sauce and olives,  
Me to Luis  "Dude,  you look like Shit."
Luis responded with a big old grin and a few choice words.
Congrats on your 28th 100 mile  finish.
 Although my friend Eric is mostly a Vegan he does partake in eating the occasional beard bug?
(I figured a gross pic needed a gross caption.)
Here they come
 Scott does not drink alcohol  but when he came into the aid station there is noway he would have passed afield sobriety test.  
 Steph I told you not to drink the river water.
Later dudes see you at mile 42
 The day was flying  by and the terrain kept getting prettier.
Foxy Lady and Foxy skull.

So far Scott ans Shawn had been running together.  But by mile 42 Shawn arrived a few minutes before Scott with the aid of Conner as a pacer.
 I could tell the race was starting to take it's toll on Scott and he was doing a great job keeping a positive attitude.
 Scott told me later that the main thing keeping him going were the massages we gave him at each aid station. 

 Mile 51 Halfway done.
By the halfway point both Scott and Shawn seemed pretty miserable.  Shawn arrived about a half hour before Scott but while he was warming up in his Jeep I took off with Scott to pace him for the next 25 miles.

It was about 10p.m. when I started pacing and we had 10 miles to the next aid station. Scott was moving really well on the climbs but his bowels weren't doing so good when he tried to run downhill.  I could tell he was starting to contemplate a DNF  (everybody does at some point) Before hitting the next aid station Scott had hit the wall as he batled his way to mile 60.
Nothing seemed broken and he was still moving great up hill. After about 5 more  miles he told me he was done. I could tell by the tone in his voice he was having a real hard time coming to that conclusion.  
"Will see about that you got plenty of time to turn things around."
I quickly changed the subject.
Guest appearance by Barefoot Ted
After a few more miles we hit an aid station with no crew access.  It was the middle of the night we were at about 8,000' elevation, the weather was chilly and that a few bonfires going.
I convinced Scot to shut his eyes for a few minutes think this may revive him a bit.

While sitting around I chatted up this lady running in the race whom had been vomiting  for the past hour.  Early in the race she had taken a fall conked her head and maybe even had a concussion.  Dude she was tough!.  It was also her first 100 and she was hell bend on finishing although at this point it didn't look like luck was on her side.

After a few minutes Scott decided to keep going.
"Way to go Dude!"
but he still had over 50km to go yikes.
 as we hiked I found Scott  a  walking stick he coined 
"Polley Moses."  
 By the time we finished  up 25 miles nearly 11 hours had passed. Scott still had 25 miles to run and he would have to do it under 9 hours. It was now or never! Scott would have to dig deep and find his running stride once again or he was not gonna make the cutoff time.
Things weren't looking good but I knew he had it in him!
 It was nice to see the crew again.  I wished I had carried my camera through the night.  The sunrise was amazing but I had no clue that we were gonna be out their that long
 Mile 85
Shawn had also had a tough night but seemed like a new man when the sun came up.
 15 miles left.  I think he's trying to see if he can find a short cut.
 Steph paced Scott the final 25 miles and you could tell he was really stoked to have her around.  They really  bring out the best in each other.
 About  5 minutes later out of nowhere came Scott running down the hill moving free and effortlessly as if he were one of the girls from Little house on the Prairie.
  He was back on track to finish (with time to spare). Way to hang in there dude
And by Eric and Izzy's facial expression you tell his feet still smelled really good.

Next stop mile 92
 Eric I decided a little frisbee was in order
Yippy Skippy
Nothing to it but to do it.
When Shawn was about to take off, In came Scott just in time for a hug
How Bromantic.
 Happy Runner, a proud crew and some kick ass Sandals.
I love this pic.

See you at the finish line!
Life is tough

 Dude you did it!
 Big congrats to Shawn Wood on his second  100 mile finish.
 And then it was Scott's turn.
  I knew you could do it and I'm really stoked you didn't give up.
You were a pleasure to crew for and I'm proud to be your friend.
----Dreaming of the present----
This pic makes me smile
Bear Lake
Look Mom I'm in Idaho!
(and my beer actually has alcohol in it)

The final official finisher of the race came i strong
And the first unofficial finisher came in with buddy George Valasco.
 "Stephanie and Hal sitting in a tree, doot, doot,doot, twidilee, dee."
Shawn got first place in the Shawn Wood division (barely beating out Shawn Woody) and Scott got first place in the sandal division.

The Bear 100 looks like a really cool race to run perhaps I'll give it a try some day? Everyone I met In Utah was pretty nice. At no point did ever feel ostracized for not being a religious dude. Our crew got along real well and Shawn's mom and her friend turned out to be a lot fun to hang out with.  I don't need 20 wives or magic underwear to be happy.  Hanging out  with such beautiful people  and watching my friends achieve their dreams is good enough for me.

Special thanks to Shawn Wood and Stephanie Gardner for letting me crash at their pad
for giving me a pool to swim in while I was there.

I still had one last day to spend In Utah so Shawn and Steph graciously took me out to Antelope Island (where he ran his first 100 ) to watch the sunset
Check out the name of Shawn's boat.
I like it, I like it a lot.
Hey Lady.
A great day to be alive
I think I may have saw more wild buffalo's during my brief visit to Angel Island than I will see in the rest my life.
The last sunflower on the island trying to hold on to petal's.
The world is what you make of it
Life is good!

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