Tuesday, June 18, 2013

SoCal Coyote Krispy Kreme Challenge 2013. Sometimes you gotta follow your dreams!

Two weeks ago I got invited by Jimmy Dean Freeman to come Run in a Krispy Kreme Challenge with his Running Club 
Run 2 miles eat 12 Donuts Run 2 miles,
Don't Puke!

Sadly I have done this before.
My first attempt the weather really sucked! I ran  barefoot in the rain and I was naive enough to think I may actually enjoy the donuts?  I wanted the win but was defeated by a superior donut eater.
On my second attempt.  The weather was beautiful. I was now veteran of the event, I came with a game plan and I came for redemption. 
But once again my dreams of Donut glory were shattered by
The Messiah of donate eating.

Never Again!
Eating a dozen donuts is stupid thing to do!

I went to bed last last Thursday with no intention of competing the following day
 If you have ever read my blog before you obviously know that my intelligence should always be questioned and that I hardly ever listen to myself.
Visions of "Sugar Plums" danced through my head.  Who dreams of "Sugar Plums?"  It wasn't Sugar  plums that filled my brain It was Donuts!

 You can't' spell Donut with out Don't and "U"  
Don't you Wanna?
(wait a second that's Fanta not Krispy Kreme)

I awoke up the next morning,went online and told Jimmy I would be racing that night. I also asked him if I need my sandals or not? Now I had to figure out where the hell Westwood Ridge was and how much time I needed to drive North on the 405 form Manhattan Beach to SunSet BLVD on a Friday night in order to arrive by 7:30.
(Stupid 405)
The event was free and Unsanctioned otherwise known as "Fat Ass" (this one quite literally)
Jimmy and and Running Club the "COYOTES" would supply the donuts in exchange for a donation to
A pet adoption center where Jimmy and his wife Kate got there Awesome dog Spirit.
High Above Los Angeles we gathered in the hills.  About 40 or so people showed  with around 20 competitors.
Luna Loop Cool!
 (I'm definitely wearing my Luna Sandals surprisingly I was the only one, Go Figure?))

Unlike the other two Krispy Kreme challenges I ran that were held on flat man made terrain, this was a trail running event straight down the side of mountain. 

Since I had the most experience at an event like this Jimmy considered me the favorite and letting me be runner #1
Although I have won a few trail Ultra's I was probably the least experienced trail runner in the race.
 The favorite in the woman's field was Kate Freeman (Jimmy's wife) I had a feeling she was gonna beat a lot of the dudes and had a good chance of beating me.
Not Krispy Kremes!
One of the runners brought his own own Vegan Gluten free dozen.  Although I would love to try one on another day and I respect the dude's effort to stick with his dietary laurels.  They were 3 times denser than Krispy Kremes!  If I had the choice I would have chosen a donut like this but thankfully I didn't have that option.
I case you're wondering what kind of idiots do an event like this,  here we are.  
About 10 seconds before this photo was taken I was handed a swig of Jameson.
Just what I needed right?
(yet another great idea)

Let the fun begin!
From the get go the Coyotes were howling. as they flew down the trail at reckless speeds

"What the hell am I doing here?" 
After running down a tiny little hill at a dangerous pace for me there was already 3 or 4 runners in front of me.  I'm no trail runner! I knew the course was gonna drop down on to some single track but for now I was on fire road and hoping-it-would-would-stay-that-way-for-awhile?
But my hopes were "dashed" (Get it, see all the dashes?) after a few 100 yards the course veered off the fireroad straight down the side of a hill.

The trail was steep I was more focused on not falling down than going fast.  I was moving good for me but the people in front were long gone and a pile up was building behind me.

"Come on guys!"
I could here Kate behind my as I pulled over to the side to let the pack go by.

It was nerve racking, the ceiling was low I ran with a tense, hunched back and couldn't wait to get to the bottom. Once there I hit some fire road and began to make up ground before heading back up.

I was so relieved to finally be running uphill.  Then to my surprise all the people whom had flown past me on  downhill were "walking" up the equally steep uphill. It's only a mile and this took me off guard. "I guess that's what trail runners do?"  I kept a steady pace for a while nipping off most of them as I climbed until I caught up to Jimmy Dean.  I could  see one dude in front of him and I hoped he was a leader?
But it turns out the dude who was winning was way out in front
After chatting/walking with Jimmy for a minute or two I took off now in in third place but I felt like I still had a chance.
Climbing back up to the starting line I lagged a few feet behind the dude that was in second place.  Knowing that the next few minutes were gonna suck a lot worse than climbing a stupid hill.
The fun was over it was time to go to work.
I had a plan?
I grabbed my box of Donuts and proceeded to smash them all together into on solid chunk of future cellulite.
I had been using hands to help climb the steep trail and I was such hurry to start eating that I forgot to wipe them off . "DOH "My outer 2 donuts now had a bonus layer of 
 "Trail sprinkles"  I pretended it would help eliminate some of the overwhelming sweetness.
So Gross!
From the very first bite it was disgusting. Chewing was going way to slow so I began swallowing chucks about 1/3 of a donut in size.  I have super tiny mouth and have a hard swallowing a vitamin without water. Why I have confidence in myself at an event like this I have no clue?

I watched as the leader finished his final donut while I still had half my 12/12 still in my hands.  It also looked like Jimmy was finish as well.  It felt slow but got focused on swallowing as much as I could while drinking about  4oz of water.  I finished my Donuts in just over 5 minutes. and took off running Now firmly in 2nd place but about 2-3 mins behind the leader
(surprisingly my donut eating time was over 1 min faster than at my last event)

I was happy to be done my stomach felt 100% I hadn't given up but my chances of winning didn't seem to great but neither were my chances of coming in third. I had finished my donuts before most the other people had finished their first lap.

Bonus pic's:
Kate's basically a dude trapped in hot chicks body.  I wonder if she would consider this a compliment?

I had about 1/4 mile lead on third and 
The waves were Epic?
Wait a second I remember that dude from San diego!
Flash Back

When I started running downhill on the second lap, my legs felt tired? (What a wimp) I ran hard not enjoying it one bit.  I've said it before and I'll say it again I hate the confinement of single track trails.  I felt like cow going off to the slaughter and much prefer the freedom of open spaces. 

I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the leader but he was nowhere to be seen and I ran hard back up the hill. finishing in second place.

I know what your thinking "Pat Why are you wearing so much clothes?
Good Question!
before the race I decided to wear my large Luna shirt instead of my usual medium thinking it would provide more room for a belly full of donuts. Dumb Decision!  I should have never worn the shirt in the first place, it   soaked with sweat instantly and it was so big it felt like I was wearing a dress on top of my skirt (Sport Kilt). I may never wear a shirt again.

Overall I'm glad I ran in the event but I made a lot of mistakes.  I'm disappointed in myself for walking some of the climb I would have never have done it if I didn't see everyone else doing it first. (I guess it's a good lesson for me about running my race.)  Had I ran a little better I may have had a chance at the win but I was never really in this event. From the very first step the dude who won wanted it more  and most deservedly got the win.

"Good Job Jimmy!"
At the finish there was a bonus challenge.
All runners had to finish one additional donut.  I gave Jimmy a Stone Pale ale to help wash it down

Are you okay?
A few minutes after Jimmy, in came Kate in about 6th or so place to show Jimmy how its done!
Awesome Video # 1

Thank you to the Coyotes for letting me run with you. Everybody was super nice and the volunteers were amazing.  I hope next time we meet it's for a BEER MILE.

Awesome Video #2

 Congrats to Brian on the dominating win.
After the race Brian was desperately trying to puke. He had grabbed a beer and was running back and forth trying to make somthing happen so that he could get all that crap food out of system.

As for me?
 Eh whatever!
I drank a couple Stone Ales and then the next morning made the darkest pot of coffee I had ever seen.  Soon after the donuts exited out the other end and I down to the beach to where I could Run Free.
Strange things happen in these mountains after dark
It was after 9 p.m. by the time I finally left, 
always  bridesmaid, never a bride!  3 attempts 3 second place finishes.

Was this my final Krispy Kreme Challenge?
What do you think?


  1. Um, yes that is an amazing compliment. Thank you!

    1. "Kate's basically a dude trapped in hot chicks body. I wonder if she would consider this a compliment?"

      As you can see in the comment above, YES Kate considers that a high compliment and to that I say, WHY do you think I married her?!? ;-)

      I am formally inviting you back for our next KKLLC Coyote style (DATE TBD). We're going to invite a couple other local running clubs, and a Loyola Marymount fraternity, so the field will be much deeper for your 'dream race' and maybe THAT will be your EPIC win. Keep living the dream...

  2. Great race report! I think I need to get one of those kilts.

  3. This is awesome!!! I got a lot of good laughs reading this. I LOVE the picture of The Messiah of Donut eating.