Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Two Miles High and Four Beers Drunk The 2013 Leadville Beer Mile and other Shenanigans

5 days till  Leadville what now?
It's kind of hard taper when never really got a chance to  train.
If Idle hands are tool of the devil then what am I supposed to do with my idle legs?
(More on this later)
The high of winning the burro race/and 5k the day before had kept my cold at bay  but come Monday morning I was back to feeling like crap again.
(Plaque outside the Labbe backdoor)
 I had no desire to run!  The cold had transformed into some sort of sinus infection.  Each time my foot hit the ground with any kind of force it felt like a filling in the left side of my mouth was about to fall out, plus it looked like X-mas time shooting out of the left nostril. I was glad though that this was happening early in the week  hoping that I would feel well by the time the 100 miler rolled around.

I'm not a very needy dude nor did I want the pressure of people going out of their way to help me in a race that I hadn't trained for nor that I even knew I could finish. I did not make any commitments to this race and for that reason I could not ask anyone to commit to helping me. I decided that I would have no crew and no pacers but that doesn't mean I wasn't ready to party with Tyler's Crew.

The next few days I  still feelt like crap. I avoided running but continued to play Frisbee in an effort to stay somewhat active.  That's when Tyler and I got the Idea to put together a beer mile.  We had put one together In Nicaragua and the night before the Born to Run Ultramarthon.  Both were a lot of fun so why not do it again?

We put the word out on Facebook on Tuesday BEER Mile on the Boulevard of the Leadville 100 mile course Thursday at 4:30
I wonder who's gonna show up.  Even if it was just Tyler and I the event would still go on.
Trying to kill my cold with Moonshine and the love of good friends.
On Wednesday Tyler's crew of Mas Loco's  began to show up. It felt more like family than friendship

Thursday Morning (I think)
(2 days till the leadville 100)
Still a little bit sick but feeling better 
The Trans Rockies 6 days stage race was passing through town so we got up early to see a few friends who were running in it.
Photo bombing my friend Holly's "Selfie" 
(She is still smiling because she doesn't who is next to her)
Holly was originally gone run in the Leadville 100 but when she got an offer to run the the much more expensive Trans Rockies race she couldn't pass it up.  She even offered to let me have her Leadville bib, but unfortunately  Leadville didn't allow transfers.  Thanks anyway
When I told James Bonnett he could be in the picture I was hoping I would still get to stand next to Holly 
You dirty dog, you!
It just so happens The Race director for the Chimera 100 Miler Steve Harvey was there and by chance I was drinking out of my Chimera coffee mug.
Good Luck James
Good Luck Holly

Tyler and I had a beer Mile course to go mark.
However and unannounced to general public a even more prestigious event was about to occur?

The First Annual International Leadville Stone golf Invitational.
Representatives in the event included myself from California, Tyler from Colorado and Flint from Quebec 
(pretty stellar huh?)

What is Stone Golf  you ask?
According to the  I.S.G.A.Rules:
The goal is to get your stone from Point A. to Point B an estimated 1/8th of a mile and then hit a designated stack of rocks with your own stone.  
Tyler was first up with a monster drive.
Flint showing the world that a petite Frenchmen can do more than just stand there and complain about California wine.
Tyler had a chance at the win but he didn't  factor in the altitude and flew past with a high putt.
Flint solidifying at least at least a share of first place
Myself going for the tie?
It's good!
Will there be a three way tie?
What an amazing finish!  I bet you wish you were there?

We thought about making it an open event next year but then you got to deal with a waiting list and a lottery we decided against it.  The 2nd annual Leadville International Stone Golf event will remain an invitational.
Keep checking your mail box for the invite?

On to the main event
How did this happen?

The 2 mile High Leadville Beer Mile

Quite the motley crew of skilled runners and drunk'n bastards 
(Guess which side of the pendulum I'm on?)

The Course
1/8th of a mile down hill and then back up.  Held at roughly 2 miles elevation I might have to actually pace myself not to go out to fast?
(what a wimp)

Gear / Beer

Time for the sacred 
beer mile 
"I can drink more than I think I can.
 I am drunker than I think I am.
 I will not puke!"
Let's do it!

Maybe the giant Burrito 90 mins before the race wasn't the best idea?
At lunch I scoffed at Tyler "I'm not gonna let a burrito defeat me!" He decided to be smart and only eat 1/2 of his.
"Who's laughing now buddy"
Maybe I was wrong?
I drank my first beer even slower that I probably would have if I had drank it while eating that burrito.  I like to be the first person done with beer one but on this occasion I was in the middle of the pack. I felt like such a rookie.

Now I needed to make up for my crappy drinking with some running
I was hoping it would be the other way around!
It was a tough climb back up to the beers but by the time I had got there I had taken the lead and was not gonna give it up without a fight!
By the time I finished beer Number 2  which went down almost instantly, 
I was comfortable in control of my own destiny.

With each passing lap and beer my lead increased.  It's not that I was super fast, I was gasping for air even at a moderate pace.  I was moving along steadily and the beers were going down effrotlessly
  By the time I headed out on my last lap nobody had even arrived at beer Number 4
 Eventually I cruised in smiling and drunk for my 6th win in 6 attempts. 
My time was just under 7:30 over 90 seconds slower than my P.R. 

Time to crack open another one and watch the race unfold
"Yo Tyler  you got an evil that Bryon Powell T-1000 from right on your ass closing in fast for the kill.."
 (He's not really evil)
Cue the T2 music 
"Dun Dunt Dunt Dunt Dun" "Dun Dunt Dunt Dunt Dun"
 Upon hearing me yell at him Tyler found another gear and ended his streak of third place finishes sprinting down the homestretch foe a second place finish
Way to go Buddy!
Just a couple seconds behind came a late charging Byron Powell.  
Next time I suggest you wear some Luna Sandals.
Well done Byron!
The biggest surprise of the whole event had to be Sean Meissner coming in 4th, shaving over 1/2 the time off his finish in Ometepe finishing in 8:49
 I think Luis Armstrong was quite possible singing about the beer mile?
I see friends shaking hands, saying "How do you do." 
there really saying "I love you"

What a wonderful World
Dog Crossing
Tyler Pacing Flint on lap 3
The word of the day 
(a cross between a a burp and a scream with a little bit of vomit)
He may be petite but the french dude didn't quit
Podium shot. 
"It's not the size of the rock that matters."
Said Sean.
I know the proper award is is a shovel on a string but I had been away from the beach for over three weeks.
(lame Excuse) 
I wont let it happen again!
 Congrats to Maria Walton for showing us just how big her actual "Cojones" were an her way to the the win in the woman's' division.  
Congrats to Flint on the DFL, I think you got a little somthing on your shoulder?
I Proclaim from this day forward all last place finisher's of the beer mile shall receive 
the illustrious 
Blue "Bone"R award!
It's a highly coveted award don't you know?

What are we gonna do with all these cans
"I'll take care of that and I'll do it 4 at a time "

This dude was too afraid to do the beer mile.

Thank you to Ian Sharman for being the MC of our event.  2 days later he would go on to win Leadville on his way to setting the record for the fastest cumulative time ever running what is known as the Grand Slam of Ultra Running,  Western states, Vermont, Leadville, Wasatch.

If you want to hire Ian as your own personal running coach or if you want to pay to hear his charming accent please go to:
Hire Ian so Pat can get a$6 commission .com

Likewise If Ian refer's you to me for for Beer Mile coaching he shall receive
One Stone I.P.A.
Thank you Sean for the mammaries that will haunt my dreams for years to come.

The Start of the Leadville 100 was now just 36 hours away.
I wonder if I will ever get around to writing the race report?

Bonus Video:
Please do not watch


  1. I am honored to participate in this monumental, inaugural event, among the crazy, ultra stoned, and sober mountain running freaks and geeks of Leadville. Thank God there were no arrests. Always "digging deep". And, Never Quit! SALUD!!

  2. Epic. Sweeney, my life would be only good health and good wine without you :p

  3. This will likely go down as my favorite event of 2013. Thanks for writing this report. It really was a great time.

  4. I am as entertained as ever by the legendary Sweeney blog posts. Sad I missed the fun.

  5. It's a true Happiness spreading blog!! ....Slangevar!!!!