Monday, April 8, 2013

Run About With Your Junk Out. A Bare Burro 2013 5km Preview

What's a dude to do when he is too gimpy to run on his own two legs?
Find a race where he can use on all three.

Time to run about with my junk out 
(warning link may not be safe for work)
Online Entry

My plan was to be running back from Boston starting next week after the marathon but a last my foot is too screwed to begin that ambitious of an undertaking right now.  Throwing a pity party isn't gonna put a smile on my face. But running around naked sure as hell will.  Hopefully I'll be able to run fast enough that the only smile my competition sees is my sideways one.
The Bare Burro 5k takes place in Colton California (near Riverside) in less than two weeks on APRIL 21/3012.  SO I guess you got a few days to go train,  tan yourself naked on the roof or do anything else you got to do to prepare.

What to expect in case you want to give it a try?

Going to the the Olive Dell Ranch or any Nudist resort  is kind of like going to the zoo? If you're like most people you may have a personal preference of what you want to see, maybe it's the koala bear, the monkees or even the two headed snake  (if you're weirdo). What happens when you get there?  You find out the Zoo is full of kudus, gazelles and wildebeests.  It's full of all kinds animals of all shapes sizes  plus a few koalas and monkees. Who knew an alpaca could be so cool. 
 I'm rather immature (I bet you can hardly tell from my writing) and I probably will giggle a bit when I first arrive(never in a disrespectful way) but after a little while it all seems pretty normal. as if you were born naked.  Imagine that?
The fun part about being in this human zoo is that you are also one of the animals .  What kind of animal are you?  That's me the bastard child of the animal kingdom

Nobody is there to judge its all about having a good old stupid fun time.

How to run Naked
Just do it, Your running form will adjust to counter danglage of your parts. Are bodies are not to designed to run in clothes but I guess lifestyle choices have allowed to develop some very interesting shapes. If you are extremely top or bottom heavy you got two empty hands feel free to use them.  If there is no way you can run without support it is allowed.  .
Video of the course
Runing wise it's a tough 5k course.  As silly as seems to wear shoes at a nudist resort I would not recommend going barefoot although Luna Sandals have worked pretty good for the winner the last 2 years

Will naked pictures of you show up on the internet, Will your friends or coworkers find out and will this ruin your chances of becoming President ?

It's interesting that in this day and age that some people need to hide the fact that they went for a run at nudist resort from  the rest of society.  The people at the Olive Dell Ranch are very respectful of this and this respect is expected from all the other runners in the race.  If you don't want your picture taken or your name showing up in the results, it won't happen.  If you want me to take your picture I probably will.

Even I am bit weird about asking friends to join me at this event.  
"Hey buddy you want to come run naked with me" is a bit awkward?" although it's not so bad asking someone of the opposite sex.
Strange :)

I have ran into people I know the last 2 years and it's actually more funny than awkward and after a couple seconds who the hell cares. 
As for the Presidency?
I'm not 35 yet so I'll have to wait and see.

 I have ran in  Bare Burro 5km the last two years and had a really good time.  It's not an experience you will regret doing. I know running a race naked is on a lot of people's bucket list, so now's your chance.

If you want to find out a little bit more here our my race reports from the last two years.


  1. Please stop the awful music! You are making your webpage unreadable!!!!

  2. You wrote: "If you don't want your picture taken ... it won't happen." This is FALSE.

    Olive Dell has arranged for photographers who will be taking people's pictures without their consent. If you do not want your picture taken do not go. You will not find anywhere on their website, on the entry form, or in the race description that says that photography is not allowed.

  3. To the two ANONYMOUS people please do not come to my site anymore if you are here to complain and spread lies. Thank You.

    I was speaking from past experience the last two years. The Olive Dell Ranch will not post pictures of you without your consent. When I got my Number the last 2 years you could consent to having your pic taken or not. Where are you getting your information?